Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Stressed out
Today, I was supposed to fly home for my dad's funeral, but the woman in the seat next to me was so obese, her bulging flesh left absolutely no way for me to sit in my seat. I complained to the stewardess, who then forced me to leave the plane just for raising my voice in frustration. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
How much?
Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Stewart Lee has let himself go
Today, I noticed while sitting on my office chair, my belly is now large enough to touch my thighs. I'm not pregnant, I just ate my feelings for the past few years, and gained about 20kg in total. I've never felt so much self-loathing as I do right now, and I'm too ashamed to ask for help. FML
Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML
Foursome
Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML
Banished
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML
Top comments
amerwin 3
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Dust yourself off, and create a gameplan to shed some lbs.
cavalos94 0
dude that's your own damn fault. if you're unhappy with your body, go on a diet.
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Comments (127)
mba1256 0
lol failure on your part
musicfreak9821 6
I love how you're writing an fml while you're supposed to be excersising!
Daederoth 10
OP is a woman.
Pawned71 0
I am a freshman, I lift weights and I eat EVERYTHING I want except for sweets. I eat many grains and gluten... and muscles are well fed by it. don't eat sweets but go to the gym. don't drink anything w/ sugar either, drink PLENTY of water.
niibee 0
insaneeeeee i guesss u wore spandex... i mean really u dont notice when u buy clothes going up from.. 1x 2x 3x
Diplomatz 0
Nice wife you got there.
takemethere 0
ummm it's hard to lose weight. give them a break.
shanster 3
lose some weight fatty mcfatfat. so quit hidin sandwiches in your ****** ripples. just cuz you got yeast hanging out in ur ****** rolls, doesn't make it a bread box. you give new meaning to NATURE'S OWN, V
DelPiero10 0
ayame is a hoe
gilbert44 0
don't eat so much and u wouldn't be fat Jesus go cry about it to your self no need to share it that's just sad