Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML
Today, I was in McDonald's with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, "Whoa, you're really pretty." No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, "Wow. He must have been drunk." FML
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML
Today, as the manager of a McDonald's, I had to ask a group of high school kids to calm down after several complaints from other guests. Their rational response was to pour soda on my head and throw burgers at me. Upon returning from chasing them out, I sprained my foot. FML
Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML
Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism." FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML
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Top comments
badass243 6
he needs a McChillthefuckout
K_kanaka 26
RUN MOTHAFUCKA RUN!!!
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Comments (62)
K_kanaka 26
RUN MOTHAFUCKA RUN!!!
kalixzo 11
I'm adding this to my favorites!
imustbeinsane 2
Hey he just wanted some spare change. Who better than Obama?
blobs1907 3
Guess your the egg mcmuffin of his alcohol experiences ;)
Pentium_4 27
ahhhh good old alcohol
xbrit551 13
Funny shit
somebody_special 9
this too funny to b true but its f*ckin hilarious
badass243 6
he needs a McChillthefuckout
michaelscott23 7
I can see why he'd want to attack Obama though.
GreenAppleDP 0
I wouldn't say attacking the President is a good idea, nor is there a good reason for it. He's doing the best he can to turn shit around, after the way Dumbo left it.. It's not Obama's fault. I do however accept the fact that there hasn't been a good president since Clinton.
Dusty_Busters 15
Ha...
LookOnBrightSide 12
3-Is that still on the dollar menu? I hope everybody in Congress gets some of that. We'd be having less problems if they did.
desireev 18
12- People say that I'm crazy when I say that Clinton was the last good president in office! I fully agree with you!!
GreenAppleDP 0
For whatever reason his incident in office made him pretty unpopular. Apparently having marriage problems is far worse than being a coke head or an alcoholic. Whatever. If Hillary would run for office again, and be voted in, I think we would all be in luck. - Not just saying that because I'm a girl. If you're a Clinton fan, you should go to Arkansas and visit the Clinton Library. It's fantastic! He actually has a suite on the top floor that he will go and visit on occassions.
pm_sky 0
Your comment :should have recorded that with your phone...rotfl
GreenAppleDP 0
You have really got to get rid of that "your comment:" at the beginning of your comments.
jmalaer 5
Yeah, you're right mr no real picture of self and no age on profile, her one eye, nose, and lips are incredibly cute. You look like a creep.
ChronicBluntz420 7
He just called her cute, calm down.^
ohSNAPyall 27
It's annoying though. PM that shit!
killatoro 2
Crazy homeless person must be colored blind
JeanVaJean 6
Probably, gender blind too.
Michael_92 20
Hair blind?? Think he would notice the long hair ha.
jonegg 0
Ydi for looking nothing like Obama LOL
LookOnBrightSide 12
6- Did you not read the part where OP said she is a Caucasian woman? And even if she did look like Obama, I don't know why a crazy homeless man would have to chase her down.
LookOnBrightSide 12
6-Did you not read the part where OP said she was a Caucasian female? And what's wrong with looking like Obama?
drawmesunshine 17
6, Did you not read where it said that half the FML population doesn't appreciate that sort of humor? YDI for making a funny that most people here won't see.
GohanRZ9 0
His color blind..
GreenAppleDP 0
He's*
Dudelike89 8
Unfinished sentences are..
bbedlock_fml 7
How is it these days that homeless people can afford booze but not food? It's crazy!
yahoowizard 16
With a stressful day to day life on the streets, a beer sounds a lot better than a salad
cochinitaBonita 2
They have priorities
shepdog123 0
That is why most of them are on the streets that or drug problems
cBlackout 13
Ah yes, the infamous colorblind, homeless, and wasted republican.
LookOnBrightSide 12
10-You sure that's not Newt Gingrich. Sounds kind of like him to me.
jacob4592 0
I would have tripped him and said that.....is for...all America ....this is how much .....I care
MyLoveDrunk 11
Haha, I found joy out of reading this, pretending in my mind that Obama was actually saying it with his infamously annoying pauses