Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some idiots set off fireworks close to my house. I was a bit worried, but my uncle assured me it would be fine and left to run an errand. Just minutes later, I looked up to find the tree right next to my wooden balcony engulfed in flames. FML
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML
Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML
Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML
Today, I watched on camera as my son tried to light a bonfire and set fire to my shed. Props to him, he ran to get my mini fire extinguisher from the car, but he pulled the pin then THREW THE EXTINGUISHER INTO THE FIRE. The dumb SOB thought mini extinguishers worked like grenades. FML
Today, a neighbor called the cops on me and my friends because we were "starting a fire" in the backyard. We were using a barbecue. FML
Today, my idiot redneck next door neighbor decided to throw an empty whipped cream spray can into a fire to watch it explode and scare half the neighborhood. That idiot redneck next door neighbor is also my 65 year-old dad. FML
Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML
Today, my son dropped a firecracker in my flour storage bin, probably thinking the pop would make flour go everywhere. I guess he’s never heard of a dust explosion because what he actually did was set fire to the flour, causing such a violent shockwave it blew the kitchen window out of the wall. FML
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Top comments
_Oblivion_ 12
Annoying little ******* aren't they?
ohcoolstorybro 14
At least you don't have to cut the grass for a while
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Comments (82)
Breebabeyy 9
Hey you still have something to live in
olpally 33
Sorry op, that was me. I'm a pyromaniac :D I just love setting things on fire on other people's lawns. I've marked my territory. ;)
olpally 33
To everyone that thumbed me down... Learn to take a joke. *eats some pizza and has a pop* while waiting for someone to bash my comment. Get a sense of humor people.
LO388 7
Not every joke is funny.
ugh_a_lug 7
Humans: 0 Weeds: 1 The weeds will always win!
simplylost643 0
#15- Not always! Those napalming SOB's at Tru-Green Chem Lawn can do wonders with lawns. Give them 3 weeks, and they'll give you a clean yard, and your weeds a new homeless problem.
galacticstorm 6
the only reason those bastards live is so we can smoke them to death as they burn slowly and painfully for our enjoyment.(yes I know garden weeds are not exactly cannabis,its a joke)
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Weeds and cockroaches will be the only survivors after the apocalypse. Those, and Nokia phones.
nachiketin 11
And you should not forget idiots... They are bound to survive too
outoftown 27
Sady, Twinkies won't survive as long since Hostess eliminated the transfat.
daps29 11
Have you ever felt one in your hand?it was like carrying invincibility.
derkster 6
I like a different kind of weeds
ezelisko 1
weeds are insanely strong.
KiiwiiRox 6
Honestly I thought you said the WEED survived... I was going to say, "isn't that a good thing?" But never mind :) Better luck next time on them WEEDS. They're a hassle to kill.
everydayFML2121 5
That's what I thought too! He could have just combatted the stress of a ****** up yard by smoking all the weed that survived!
Judahsh 8
I initially thought that as well. Maybe he didnt want the cops to find it when they came or something...
Ozuru 11
weeds: 1 you: 0
megamandude455 10
Dem ****** weeds
mercsl65 7
press charges rather han jumping on fml. people these days
tehcyberman 9
If everybody that SHOULD do that actually did, FML would indeed be a boring site.
Shrike 24
It takes what, ten seconds to submit an FML? It's not like the OP set aside a whole day to vent about it. Get over yourself, and come up with a better reason to say YDI, troll.
mercsl65 7
rawr