Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML
Today, after waking up in a panic since I slept through my alarm, I hurriedly got ready and started speeding to work. On the way, I texted my boss to apologize for running late. His response? "It's Saturday." FML
Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, but on the way back was rear-ended, in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML
Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML
Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML
Today, I was running late for work. I was trying to find my car keys, then realized I'd left them in my boyfriend's car. My phone charger was locked in my car, and my phone was dead. I couldn’t get hold of my boss and explain what had happened. I’m fired, aren’t I? FML
Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
Today, I went to bed early, feeling responsible. At 2 a.m., I woke up in a panic because I forgot to set my alarm. While fixing it, I actually turned it off completely. I overslept, missed work, and proved once again that I should never trust myself. FML
Today, I was yelled at and almost fired for showing up "late" to work. I was the first one here. FML
Today, after being a few minutes late to work a few times this week, I left the house super early this morning. When I got to work, security hadn’t unlocked the doors yet, so I waited in my car, where I ended up falling asleep and sleeping through most of my entire morning shift. FML
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Top comments
Nailpolishaholic 20
Well, you just proved you weren't fired unfairly.
superjewguy 19
no one to blame but yourself, you totally deserve it op
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Comments (60)
JustShootMeFML 32
Maybe you should try the alarm clock that runs away from you. My sister has it because she has the same problem getting up on time. The rest of the family hates it and it wakes us all up, but it is kinda funny to hear her swear while she stumbles around the room trying to catch it.
AmericanSniper 13
lol jobless in seattle... no kidding
Zebediabolical 45
I'd be late too if I had to commute from Texas.
yerawizardlizzy 27
I also suggest downloading the Sleepy Time app or using the website. It calculates sleep and wakeup times based on sleep cycles. That way your alarm goes off during a light sleep stage and you're more likely to get up without issue. Also go to bed and wake up the same time every day. And don't use electronics in the last hour before you go to sleep, as the type of light in the screens screws up your sleep rhytyms. Or if you have to use them, download the Twilight app on your devices to neutralize the light. There are a ton of things you can do to improve your sleep so you won't oversleep. I know all these things because I used to oversleep all the time and still do on occasion.
Zebediabolical 45
ANd here I thought the twilight app just made everything sparkle and look constipated.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Not that kind of Twilight.
foxysunshine 12
Sounds like you're a repeat offender..... YDI
amanda182 19
That's why you have multiple alarm clocks.
iLOVEbbs78138 3
I have the same problem, literally cannot wake up until my brain wants to, I hear nothing! I could be punched in the face and still sleep. I have a diagnosis though so if you're anything like me I feel for you OP. It truly does suck.
Joshawott 21
How stupid do you have to be to sleep in two days in a row? You did it yourself.
spacepants 11
wake up and go to work. problem solved.
drunk_crow 12
Your name was "jobless in seattle" yet you live in Texas,