Today, after extensive tests due to pregnancy-related issues, I've been told my diet must change. I can no longer eat salt, sugar, gluten, or meat, and lactose is questionable. The doctor hopes it will end after the birth. Seven months to go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I’m eating a salad with a sparkling water once again. I’m 7 months pregnant. My husband says he’ll leave me if I ever get too fat after I give birth. I can’t afford to be a single mom, nor leave the marriage, so this is the cross I have to bear. FML
Today, at 7 months pregnant, I have come to accept the morning sickness isn’t going to ease off. It’s so severe that I don’t make my meal choices based on calories or even cravings, rather on how bad it’ll taste when it comes back up. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. This brings me bad news and good news. The bad news, I'm a vegetarian. The good news, I finally know why I've been craving Big Macs for the last two weeks. FML
Today, I'm two months pregnant and can only seem to eat plain food consisting of mostly cheese. Now I’m constipated and haven’t pooped in two days. FML
Today, my doctor wants me to avoid carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. Yes, I am looking for another doctor while I scratch my head. FML
Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I'm seven weeks pregnant. For the first time in a week, I feel well enough to eat something that isn't Cheerios, a bagel, or crackers. I woke up two hours after going to bed with the shits. I'm almost convinced this kid hates me already. FML
Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML
Today, I'm pregnant and feeling awful due to all-day-long morning sickness. My doctor suggested that I cancel all my social plans to be able to keep working. My doctor is also my husband, and the father of this child. FML
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Top comments
Lobby_Bee 18
Seven months? I thought the human body can only go for about a week without food.
AnthonyCS5 19
Your unborn child is already calling the shots! Seven months and 18 years to go!
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Comments (29)
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Sugar. Doo doo doo doo doo doo. Oh, honey, honey. Doo doo doo doo doo doo. You are my candy girl..." Or "Pour some sugar on me! Ooh, in the name of love!" I don't know any songs about gluten.
davecross 11
I would get a second opinion because that sound ridiculous
sambmjmdjj 9
That does suck. I would definitely seek a second opinion.
neuronerd 29
I'd ask a gluten free vegan for suggestions. If you avoid processed foods, you shouldn't have salt or sugar problems. While it's not a diet I'd enjoy, and I sympathize, it is doable in a healthy way that should provide enough nutrients for both you and the fetus. Hopefully, you'll be able to enjoy other foods again after your pregnancy.
boopingsnoot 25
Spaghetti squash with pasta sauce (parmesan has very little lactose!), sweet potato, corn grits, fruit smoothies with soy milk or lactaid milk, and there's a lot of good veggies most people overlook. Best of luck to you and your picky child!
Yummi_913 18
This child is going to be allergic to EVERYTHING!!
Sudokori 13
That’s all bullshit. Eat what you want and the baby will turn out fine. A bagel won’t cause a miscarriage for ***** sake
GhostFox 34
Err, no, eating a bagel very well could cause a miscarriage if it causes OP to go into anaphylactic shock, or even if it causes sufficient inflammation for the body to reject the fetus. Medical Science: Learn it before you say shit that could get someone killed or do grievous harm. The human body gets all kinds of weird during pregnancy, and despite what people are told- and despite what the person themself may want- the uterus is actually INTENDED to cause most pregnancies to fail, so that the ones that do reach the end are more likely to survive to reproduce as adults.
IThriveWithYourPain 14
you can't eat SALT? I call bullshit because without salt you can't feel thirst, your nerves can't fire, and your body just generally cannot work so I doubt this is true gotta get that sodium chloride