Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my moms are driving me mad. My biological mom, a therapist, keeps telling me I need to try new things because life is short. My non-biological mom, a doctor, keeps telling me everything new I want to try has health risks that will shorten my life even further. FML
Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML
Today, my mom friended all my friends on Facebook then thought it'd be a good idea to try and act like a teen so she'd be considered 'cool'. FML
Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML
Today, my mother learned a new expression and uses it in every sentence. Her special, new expression is "boom diggity." It's apparently "hip." FML
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML
Today, my mother is upset that I won’t share things with her anymore. This is the woman who spent my entire childhood gossiping about every teeny tiny detail of my life, and used my suicide attempt as a way to garner pity for herself. Yeah, no thanks. FML
Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, Mommy. FML
Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML
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Top comments
eddeeezzyy 19
May God have mercy on this generation, that's all I ever hear nowadays. Even on Xbox Live.
Joshwarrior 39
you only live once sounds fine but saying yolo makes you sound like an uneducated idiot
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Comments (122)
grahmagog 14
I dont know who to feel more sorry for....the fact she says it or the fact you have to hear it....
Caitie_kid 8
Aww, at least she's trying! :-/
Djjooze 4
She has issues in the first place for having a therapist and then for having kids when someone is that retarded.
BingleBop 18
YOLO. Is. Not. A. Word.
oNisao 21
NO.
perdix 31
#13, it's an acronym. Just because you hate a word doesn't mean that you can deny its existence. Even. Using. A. Period. Between. Every. Word. Does. Not. Stop. The. Downward. Spiral. Of. The. English. Language.
commonlogicz42 6
No? No as in it is not a word you are correct? Or no as in you are a slack-jawed moron who is going to be responsible for the deterioration of intelligence in society? It's just a word, alone it's harmless. Give it to stupid people? It becomes a plague.
fuzz97 23
#21- easy there tiger
commonlogicz42 6
Sorry 31 but I have a severely low tolerance for stupidity. All these hipsters don't deserve to "LO". Part of me wishes society would stop idiot proofing things so that these inferior genes can drown in the shallow end of the gene pool like they were intended to. Instead, we have stupid, overly entitled, irresponsible, uneducated people breeding causing more generations of these idiots.
fuzz97 23
it's just an acronym calm down
SuperSofie 23
#35 Arrogant much?! It's superior thinking like that that starts big problems.. I understand your frustration, but you just took it too far IMHO (sorry, couldn't help myself with the last "word")..
Pro_Nothing 9
People still use N.A.S.A. out loud as it sounds, right? How about M.A.D. (Mutual Assured Destruction, a term derived from the threat of nuclear warfare during the Cold Wars)? People thought it was stupid to use at the time, yet now we use it everyday. Calm your **** bro.
fuzz97 23
#35: "people say a thing I don't like so they're all stupid and should die"
fuzz97 23
the only thing I dislike more than "YOLO" and "swag" are arrogant buttholes with excessively strong negative opinions who loudly and constantly shit all over those words
fuzz97 23
like do you seriously not have more important things to get angry about
commonlogicz42 6
You've just posted 3 times in a row, organize your thoughts before you rant, otherwise it's hard to take you seriously. And yes, if people don't stop to think about where society is going and what sort of factors and influences are sending us there, we are ******. Just because the ****** up places we live in encourage people to become mindless sheep doesn't mean I have to join in. If you choose to be part of the rapid decline, you are making it harder for every person with a brain to prosper. Slowing down the progress of the human race doesn't make you a waste of air. Im not overly concerned if you disagree, but please don't act like destroying intelligent thought is nothing to be concerned about.
fuzz97 23
are you seriously suggesting that the use of "YOLO" and "swag" will bring about the end of society strong lol @ your description of the everyman as "sheep". teach me your ways, o enlightened one
commonlogicz42 6
Like I said, if we do not stop to think about our influences and our direction we are ******. How many intelligent decisions begin with the phrase "YOLO"??? How many people are there that actually take the term "swag" seriously. They contribute to stupidity, and in a powerful way. Harmless little words that actually have the power the alter someone's lifestyle or decision making progress. I get that maybe you have never taken a minute to think about how things work, or maybe you aren't intelligent enough to do so. So do yourself a favor and stop arguing things you clearly know nothing about. And I'm not saying these two terms are solely responsible for our current and future state, but they are contributing.
fuzz97 23
jesus christ are you incapable of not taking anything seriously or what for someone whose username is "commonlogicz42", I don't see a whole lot of logic in anything you said. you seriously claim that "YOLO" and "swag" are making humanity stupider as a whole? frankly I'd find you more credible if you were saying that aliens on the moon were using a device to beam stupid rays directly into our brains
commonlogicz42 6
Of course you cant, that would require some intelligent thought. I enjoy a good argument with someone who can hold an intelligent conversation, attempt to disprove my points and insert your own. You are clearly not capable of having an intelligent argument, therefore I am done with this conversation. For the good of humanity please do not reproduce.
fuzz97 23
"blah blah blah ur stupid dun talk 2 me blah blah." That's what I'm seeing. Way to weasel out of the argument, ya wuss.
MacMonster 10
@62 I wouldn't say he weaseled out, I'm pretty sure he just beat you. Especially because if you were smart, you'd actually see what he was saying.
fuzz97 23
Let's see, what he said was a bunch of stupid, angry whining about some acronym that doesn't even matter, a bunch of ludicrous logical fallacies (i.e. "saying YOLO and swag decreases your intelligence"), and just generally a bunch of stuck-up, pretentious nonsense. So yeah, I saw what he was saying. Did you?
dakkat720 6
the acronym is fine... its the overuse of it that makes it stupid. like the people who say "banging" after every sentence.
expertsmilee 26
72 - JUST STOP PLEASE! I can feel the dumb slowly seeping into me through your posts!
BingleBop 18
Wow, my post is creating some drama. But, nevertheless, YOLO is not a word. It's an acronym. Yes, you say NASA out loud, but saying something out loud doesn't make it a word.
fuzz97 23
I have yet to see a single compelling reason why anything I said was dumb. Seems to me like you're all just mad that I don't think exactly the same way you do. Reminds me of a joke: "How many haters does it take to change a lightbulb?" "None. They fear change, even if it can make the world a brighter place." BYE HATER
xx000o 27
#60 Well they are.
Pro_Nothing 9
105 - I didn't imply it was a word. I was attempting to imply that it is idiotic to enrage yourself over pronouncing acronyms out loud.
Ducreaux 7
Does she sing Started From the Bottom all the time too?
LyraAlluse 25
She sounds like one of those typical dorky stay-at-home mothers from those 80's sitcoms.
s_reel16 16
Well... she tried!
MysticMonkey 9
Ugh this generation
fuzz97 23
in fact we're probably one of the best generations ever
liltwistism 12
#75 nooooooo. It's all about the 1800's. Those years produced some admirable offspring.
Alihb 16
youre an idiot
ilovedinosawers 17
#87 your... Mom. Pffftttcghggtetghecegeyhevevr.
perdix 31
That's some progress. If the therapist is really good, in a few more sessions, 80% of the words coming out of your mom's mouth will be "like," accompanied by exaggerated grunts and facial contortions.
RedPillSucks 33
Wait till she starts referring to her kids as "Mah Nigga" or "Zup Niggas?"
edvin_fml 10
Let's play fix the sentence. Admittedly, the mandatory 'today' at the beginning doesn't make it easy: <<Today and every other day since my mom was advised by her therapist to become closer to her kids, she has been constantly using the words "YOLO" and "swag" in our presence. >>
Gokuto 5
It's written like that because FMLs have to follow a certain format in order to be approved.
misspulkadot24 17
Hey, it's cute that she's trying. Don't you think she knows she sounds dumb? She's doing it to be relatable.
SMHsohard 22
I told my daughter that if I ever start saying YOLO and swag she has permission to smother me with a pillow.
RedPillSucks 33
I can see it now. Can you please pass the Jello... Hmmphg dsha hak! That's Jello! JELLO! ack!
pwnman 33
Yes mom, we only live once, and we want this life as you behaving normal, and loving us, which gives you swag.