Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my moms are driving me mad. My biological mom, a therapist, keeps telling me I need to try new things because life is short. My non-biological mom, a doctor, keeps telling me everything new I want to try has health risks that will shorten my life even further. FML
Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML
Today, my mom friended all my friends on Facebook then thought it'd be a good idea to try and act like a teen so she'd be considered 'cool'. FML
Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML
Today, my mother learned a new expression and uses it in every sentence. Her special, new expression is "boom diggity." It's apparently "hip." FML
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML
Today, my mother is upset that I won’t share things with her anymore. This is the woman who spent my entire childhood gossiping about every teeny tiny detail of my life, and used my suicide attempt as a way to garner pity for herself. Yeah, no thanks. FML
Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, Mommy. FML
Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML
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Top comments
eddeeezzyy 19
May God have mercy on this generation, that's all I ever hear nowadays. Even on Xbox Live.
Joshwarrior 39
you only live once sounds fine but saying yolo makes you sound like an uneducated idiot
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Comments (122)
nicholasj96 9
Atleast she's trying .
subgub2222 16
My dad does that all the time except he says "so pro" and he thinks he's cool