Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was riding the bus home from school. I was sitting by myself, and my backpack was occupying the seat next to me. A hot girl boarded the bus, and was standing right where I was sitting. I placed my backpack on my lap, freeing up the seat. The girl stood the entire bus ride. FML
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML
Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML
Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she said, "Ha! Sucker!" FML
Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
Today, I said thanks to a man who got up for me in the bus. He angrily said "no, not you!". The old lady who sat down is now staring at me. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML
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Top comments
IDontKnow10101 14
that's what all ladies want, right?
andiewithlove 21
Tell her that seat isn't free. She's gotta dance for it.
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Comments (93)
amerikaninfidel 2
Lucky! You get it in??
KiddNYC1O 22
I don't think the op wanted to...
ifyacantbeatem 5
An lady* an lady*
feldco1 17
At least she asked?
aFreedom127 9
Lap Dance!!!
LappDance 16
Yes?
poopshreds 10
ha!
tj5810 21
Was it a bumpy bus ride?
anythingmustbe 18
The woman on the bus crazy as a bat, Asked nicely to be sat, Although op did not no she meant their lap, Lets hope for op sake that she isn't fat.
loleepops 10
This is definitely the poem that was assigned for analysis.
Enslaved 38
Starts to sing: Wiggle it (just a little bit)
etchsanity1 11
Me so horny ... 2live crew
andiewithlove 21
Enslaved - I love you and your song quotes. They always bring a smile to my face:D
upsidedownn 8
She didn't want to sit on your LAP... Wink wink.
NagainaFier 16
What? She wanted to sit on his thighs? His knee caps? (I wanna sit on someone's knee caps...)
yousuck44 11
No she wanted to sit on his dick. wait... Sorry going in emo corner right now.
SuperDanielNL 23
@20 You new to the whole comma thing?
TheGreatAlexande 12
You knew to the whole FML thing?
ALlamaOnFire 20
It appears he is... new*
Octwo 16
26 must be fat.
billyz77 24
I know you didn't say it because you were embarrassed but, you did take your pants off first, right?