Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Nosferatu
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML
Cold open
Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML
Belly bounce!
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML
Today, I saw my uncle after six months. The first thing he says to me is, 'I didn't even recognize you! You've gained so much weight.' Gee thanks uncle. Just what I wanted to hear. FML
Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML
Small talk
Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying to chitchat, he said, "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML
Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML
Top comments
MsKimPossible 0
Ouch! But there's no way you could've known that. After that, I think the only thing to say was "I'm sorry to hear that. How are you doing now?"
davidtheday 0
LOL When I first read this, by "waiting" I thought you meant, "waiting for him to come back"... not "waiting" as in "serving food"... hahaha FAIL for me.
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Comments (43)
graceeleandra 0
dont talk about weight SPECIFICALLY. just say U LOOK GREAT. you deserved something but probably not that kind of something
CestMoi_fml 0
I just want to slap people when they tell me it looks like i've lost weight. It's such a tasteless thing to bring up in a casual conversation.
junefairy_fml 10
i think it depends on your location and culture wether it's in bad taste or not. i'd love for someone to say that to me
red_apples 0
Lol@#12. I'm pretty sure the guy would forgive you unless he's over-the-top sensitive. It was a mistake, no big :).
me_me_fml 0
It's not exactly something you can guess.... FYL indeed
j_e_m_8_8 0
ouch...wow shitty. wtf do you say to THAT?!
ayre_fik 0
ITS HIS LIFE THATS ****** ASSHOLE
Squirrellord911 0
... bummer... hope he gets cured and the weight loss sticks :)
mfylife123 0
#24, you're an ass- people with cancer don't necessarily want sympathy, it is a very serious disease and I can't believe you would say that. As someone who has had all four of my grandparents die of cancer, your comment really offends me.
xxALLISAUR 0
aww. lol i did the same thing #3
Guitarist45 0
this isn't an fml. I doubt he was offended.