Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the coworker I like reported me to HR for "sexual harassment." All I did was make him lunch every day, give him 'just because' gifts, and compliment him in a non-sexual way. It sure isn't "sexual harassment" when another coworker of ours does the exact same things; in fact, he praises it and acts indifferent to me. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML
Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, I asked one of the girls at work out on a date. She responded by filing a harassment complaint. Now, I can't speak to her at all without being written up. FML
Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML
Today, half of my office urged me to file a complaint against a coworker for aggressive behaviour, so I did. Less than 24 hours later, HR gave him a real dressing down and the whole office turned against me for ratting on him to management. FML
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Top comments
energizerbunny23 18
Probably jealous of the size...
TheTedster 15
File a complaint against him for being "unreasonably stupid".
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Comments (88)
redwill85 10
He is a douche trying to start some drama.
krupa1017 18
Someone needs to grow up. Lol
x3jmac27 22
He is very childish if that's what he thought when he saw you eating a banana.
JuliannVo 11
This is how our society is now..
FucYoCouch 13
You can't base Society off of a hand full of idiots. If someone does something good, like walk an elderly person home, that goes unseen. But the moment someone starts to Twerk on stage or start to say "Hashtag Swag", the level of the "greatness a society should have" is demoted? That doesn't seem fair.
Gityerchicken 12
I used to think that way too #17 until I ditched Facebook and went back to college as an old fart. I have new found hope for the future. The youth today are kind and considerate, in my experience. It's probably me and and my old fart peers that dragged society down. Sorry about that! We didn't have twerking. We had the Humpty Dance!
smokecloud_ 37
Every generation has its idiots. I wish we as a society could focus on more of the positive and less of all the negative in the world.
JMichael 26
He thought you were hinting at wanting to suck something else banana shaped.
ImAFaker 29
Popsicle? It's not that type of weather yet
YellowKettleBell 31
Were you keeping it in your pocket?
strike2867 13
Were you by any chance staring and nodding suggestively at him as you ate it?
WhatsMyNameTho 11
- Next time he looks over at you crack two walnuts with your teeth, that'll shut him up. lol
rainbow_llamas 16
I bet he's mad that he can't get any action. Sorry OP that you have to deal with idiots
Alchemist_21 26
Did you make eye contact? NEVER make eye contact while eating a banana.