Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, I was sitting in a train when the old lady sitting next to me started staring at me. I asked her if she was OK, and she exclaimed, "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?" The entire train trip went like this. FML
Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my love handles, and said, "Honk, honk!" FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML
Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML
Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
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Top comments
allie2590 31
Don't you just love public transport?
Pandaburr1 15
I think you're OVARY-acting
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Comments (51)
FlyingPie 17
That would be bloody annoying.
steveykinz0967 16
Well once you pet a women's dog you're basically as close as can be
OnceUponABear 16
And here I thought old ladies were all about cats.
FlyingPie 17
What about petting a woman's pussy (cat)?
pussystank 18
It be dry!
BrainStew27 12
Hey, advice for later in life!
LiliLatte 15
If you are a boy, it be the whole lot more awkward
flufee2 27
Forrest gump 2
cjwayy 22
"Hey stranger, let's talk about my hot flashes and chronic vaginal dryness"
JRT98 12
Yeah that's what I want strange women to talk to me about while I wait, because the weather is never good for conversation.
GentlemanBastard 15
Mmmm... Chronic vaginal dryness
Otaku31 19
That sounds like something my mom would do...
worldclassrager 41
I don't what to know if you touched her shoulder on accident
kendallfireHD 16
So there is such thing as over sharing.
redstone7693 29
What does menopause mean?
pussystank 18
You're on the internet. Google it!