Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML
Today, I was sitting in a train when the old lady sitting next to me started staring at me. I asked her if she was OK, and she exclaimed, "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?" The entire train trip went like this. FML
Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my love handles, and said, "Honk, honk!" FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML
Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML
Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
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Top comments
allie2590 31
Don't you just love public transport?
Pandaburr1 15
I think you're OVARY-acting
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Comments (51)
MSDemonslayer 5
Is she hot?
Dinonick 15
If this were in Utah I would have thought it was my mom. She NEVER shuts up about it
mageejay 5
Then you probably seem as someone nice to talk to!
ImRJ 7
Well if you are a lady yourself, you can learn something. It's not that bad.
tbon3r 15
maybe you're just ovary acting :)
enu_vastanii__ 9
Someone already said that..
Anata_fml 10
I don't see this "positive"
enu_vastanii__ 9
Are you a male or female?
seriouslygrowup 11
can't believe these morons agree that your life sucks? no. your life does not suck, you deserved it by engaging in a behaviour with a complete stranger's dog... then not to expect them to take this as a sign as you wanting to talk (about anything) to them? Men use dog's to pick up women. In the history of all history there has never been a CLEAR sign as to "hey I want to talk to you and engage in friendly conversation" by petting their dog. So no. You deserved it.
vividpictures 17
Look on the bright side, you know more about menopause now.
Sandman366 6
I'm probably going to be hated for being irked that you said "the menopause" instead of "her menopause". On another note ....what could possibly posses her to think you have any interest in that whatsoever!?