Today, I learned that you truly can get cramp in any muscle of your body, including that one specific ring of muscle in the back. Yes, I got a full on cramp in my asshole and yes, it is even more painful than you can possibly imagine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got the most painful neck cramp of my life after whipping my head back in laughter at something that wasn't even that funny. FML
Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, I learned that you can actually sprain your groin for real. It hurts. FML
Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML
Today, I stretched really hard when I woke up, only to feel something twang. This was followed by a really sharp pain. Thinking I'd given myself a hernia, I got up to check myself in the mirror, and was repulsed by the bulge I saw hanging out of my gut. Then I realised it was just my own flab. FML
Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML
Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML
Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML
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Top comments
GoogieWithers 25
Well, that's just unlocked a new nightmare.
FluffythePink 23
It's one of those things that only people who've experienced it understand. I get it because of bad gut spasms that occasionally hit there as well. I sympathise with that indescribable moment of pure, eye watering, living hell 🫂
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Comments (2)
FluffythePink 23
It's one of those things that only people who've experienced it understand. I get it because of bad gut spasms that occasionally hit there as well. I sympathise with that indescribable moment of pure, eye watering, living hell 🫂
GoogieWithers 25
Well, that's just unlocked a new nightmare.