Today, my parents decided that the best way to save money was to dilute everything we drank with water. Only one more year of watered down soda and juice to go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad and I found in my house a water filter that has not been changed in over 20 years. We have been drinking that water that has been going through a filter that had more colors than a rainbow on it. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML
Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML
Today, I realized I need to cut back on drinking. Not booze, but water. I compulsively drink so much water that my body is bloated from water absorption and I have to pee constantly. FML
Today, after my 7 year-old learned at school that water that goes down the sink and toilets is cleaned and then turns up in the taps as drinking water, he is now refusing to drink it at all in case it is recycled toilet water, and if he carries on he may need to be hospitalised for dehydration. FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML
Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML
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Top comments
Jinxsie 27
Maybe you should just stick with water and not have watered down anything. Why torture yourself? Water is great on it's own. Unless you hate water...
echarlotte 19
why spend the money on soda and juice in the first place, why not stick with water if it'll taste like it anyway?
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Comments (68)
Berber260 14
This is the most absurd thing I'll hear in a long time.
bapbap_fml 15
Would make more sense to just drink more water on it's own and when you have a soda or juice have it undiluted.
kemando 22
just get ice tea powder, it's great when it's mixed with water ;)
bobsanction 18
Do they water down your water?
luciorossari 8
Go buy your own?
opiate_ape 10
or just drink less juice and soda and drink it at full strength when you do?
the_taken_queen 4
Or you could just ******* drink water?
DQEight 8
its not that bad, you get used to it after a while. fruit juices do the best with this. Diabetic, do this with almost everything.
militarybrat 21
Watered down juice is better for you than flat out juice. No juice is even better. Same with soda but blech watered down soda? Would be better not to buy any at all, why is THAT their first thought? Stupid parents... Honestly.
mrBearBear 11
Could save even more money by not buying soda and juice in the first place and only having it when you go out. That's what I do.