Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML
Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner, since we can't see each other this Valentine's Day. Halfway through, my aunt called, telling me my grandma had died. I had to leave because I was crying so much, leaving my girlfriend with a very pricey bill. FML
Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my 65-year-old grandmother called and asked me to tell my boyfriend that she was flattered, but she's happily married. I have no idea what she was talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML
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Top comments
Imdead 0
Nice, I know how you feel. I'm 22 and single, so my grandmother is certain that I'm gay. I think it's kind of funny actually.
chloelovestoswim 6
yea but guys and he's a guy so it still implies gay
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Comments (21)
edobean 0
I don't have a grandma
xocassylovesyou 0
Wooow.
Cheesegrater 0
All u sympathetic people drive me nuts get over it she will soon be in the nut house for elders
StaticSky 2
sounds like my grandmother
TrollsHaveSouls 0
YDI for being gay
juybuygo 13
you just got gramma burned! nobody knows when it's coming, but when it does it is epic.
fallenangel72 7
Lmao
MRVOlivia 22
Yikes. If she's anything like my grandma she's probably just kidding. You know how the elderly can be. Just keep your chin up. She most likely is just being a funny old person.
writerchic85 26
I'll never understand why being single for too long makes people think someone's gay. Losers come in all sexualities lol.