Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
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Top comments
BB_ava 0
That's the first place I'd look...
Livinia 11
You should be glad it's safe now :)
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Comments (118)
deatheater97 0
All right chumps lets do this LEEEERRRROOOOYYY JEEENNNKKIINNSSSSSS
slickrasta 1
Finding your dog isn't a FML you Texan moron.
Zaxnu 0
at least you have your dog
sblhaine 0
BAHAHahahah little ****** :3
gaximus 0
your right. your life is tottally fu€ked. glad you posted
sea333 3
major win Dixie moment
ledara111 0
atleast you found him
max3215 12
thats were my retarted dog always is
shrinkydinks 0
that's what I was thinking! my dog ran away. and I never found him. fml
HunterAlpha1 8
you should be happy you didn't find him smeared all over the highway.