Today, my sister-in-law announced she would like me to be her surrogate, so that her body doesn't look like a stretched wobbly mess after childbirth. Apparently, I'm a perfect candidate, as "we won't see a difference." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today my daughter asked me to do her a huge favor : undergo a liposuction transplantation where my fat would be sucked out then put into her butt and thighs. Apparently, I am the fattest DNA match to her, lessening the risk of her rejecting the transplant. FML
Today, my sister who I'm being a surrogate for told me that she changed her mind and doesn't want kids anymore. It's way too late for me to have an abortion. FML
Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML
Today, my sister-in-law announced that she’s pregnant. With my kid. And the doctor thinks it might be twins. FML
Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML
Today, my sister told me she didn’t want me in her wedding pictures because I looked fat in my bridesmaid's dress. FML
Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML
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Top comments
Gradask 10
IF this is the only reason why she wouldn't want to go through pregnancy, she is very shallow and has problem that needs to be dealt with before she get any kids. Being a mother isnt easy nor pretty and you wont have time to keep your self "perfectly beauty" constantly.
AmbrosiaFan 19
"somebody that vain about her looks and her body doesn't deserve to be called a mother, so no I won't be your surrogate".
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Comments (16)
Nathaniel Van Patten 3
Am I the only one who connected the dots that says that she was being asked to get pregnant with her brother's baby? Sure, different egg, but her brothers baby would be inside of her...
distortedcognition 17
Wait... she wants you to carry your brother’s kid? Am I reading this correctly, Miss Alabama?