Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML
Today, my mom rolled up the car window on my fingers. She thought my yelling and crying was because I was throwing a tantrum. I'm 26. FML
Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML
Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML
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Top comments
Sonychka 13
You're a big girl. Use your big girl words.
lalalanono 8
It's a sad day when your mom jumps to the worst case scenario.
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Comments (126)
Brownie101abc 7
Mom was the problem the whole time
trucker67 10
OP - just talk to your mom I'm sure she will understand - sometimes when your in pain the right words don't come out of your mouth - trust me I've been there on that one , after beating cancer three times I've figured out that the little things in life aren't worth worrying about , the rest of today will be better.:)
aleahlioness 15
Just tell her what happened. :)
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Use your big girl words, OP. If a doctor asks you what's wrong and you broke your leg, you don't just stick your leg out an hope your doctor is a psychic. But your mom kinda sounds a bit rude for just ignoring you and not asking what your motive was.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
*and
rjeswcmsshs 0
Wow
gracehi 33
Did you seriously just plagiarize a phrase from another comment, or was that just a huge coincidence?
loserman67 36
BRAVO, I love your inventiveness! I think your mother took things a little too seriously. Has there been tension between you two? Sounds like there has been. Go talk to her, tell her what happened, show her your finger (while holding them ALL up), so she can see it swollen and black and blue. And then if she doesn't accept your explanation and apology, then drop the other fingers and give her the salute!
brandon3747 16
Your a dumbass
AuRon_Grey 4
You're a dumbass.
gracehi 33
I see this particular grammatically incorrect phrase all the time on FML. I'm beginning to wonder if people do it deliberately in a pathetic attempt at humor.
AlexBblah 10
It was a reflex lmao Happend to me once but it was a nail
turtle102 3
That really sucks I did tht to y step dad once but he actually deserved it lol
X_Codes 11
Oh, come on... this is a classic. "I HURT MAH FINGER, SEE?!"
tennislove11 2
well this is a problem that could have easily been avoided......isnt it obvious? just be like"yo mama, i jammed my finger in the drawer, i wasnt flippin u off." and be done with it. Simple
THE_A_TEEN 28
Read some of the previous comments. Most people don't have they urge to speak while in pain.
Ugi 27
I'm not sure that's entirely true. Mostly they have the urge to say "****, ****, ****, ****, ****!" Not that that's entirely helpful in this situation.