Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML
Today, at lunch with my mother, she disclosed that she made some changes to her will. Instead of the previous even split to all siblings, 90% of the sizable estate will now go to my brother. He has already been living off my mother's property for the last 10 years, and reaping the benefits of being expense free. FML
Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML
Today, I found out that when my uncle died, he left me and the rest of my family £2000 each. Only my parents kept and spent my share on themselves. FML
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML
Today, I inherited several buttloads of money from my grandmother, including property, and by gosh did so many relatives appear from the woodwork to remind me of money granny owed them, or how they just needed an investment to kickstart their business venture. The whole lot of them can screw off. FML
Today, my dad refuses to let me inherit all of his money, which might just put a roof over my head when I’m older. *His* money? Well, actually, he inherited it. FML
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Top comments
pistachiopanda 19
Didn't leave you with jack shit...
georgeee97 9
Dang man that sucks. Maybe you shoulda been nicer too your old grandpa :/
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Comments (118)
Slawter16 24
I like his sense of humour. That sucks though, OP, but I hope you managed not to laugh out loud when they read 69...
King_paradox 22
Always bring a pen, and a copy presigned
Valle79 5
Well, maybe now you'll stop being an immature little shit?
goliatron 9
You must be one, with "swag" in your username!
olpally 33
He's dead, you're alive. I think you win this one anyways.
heyheynow 12
haha im going to leave $1 to be split evenly amongst my family and give the rest to my cat.
xJebu 8
Irony!
HeartOfLead 24
"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." You were just enjoying your youth and being able to mess around.
dencti 4
Ahem - that's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow...
Flashman9000 9
Have you tried not being a little shit?