Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present, or do anything special for me, because, “The rent’s paid, you have a fridge full of groceries… What more do you want?” Later on, he asked me why did I, “look so sad?” FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
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Top comments
BreynHope 11
Nothing says happy birthday like a clean asshole. Take it all in stride.
BlesstheSilence 11
Swiggity swooty he's coming for that booty!
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Comments (199)
edanielleh 21
if you don't want to do anal, just say no. I hate it so I refuse to do it. No big deal
XxxAnitaxxX 14
Prepare your anus.
dennisk21 6
it's my birthday too :p
StefanKa 23
That's sweet of him :)
mattrd_fml 31
maybe he wants to try anal and wants you to be clean down there.
emuexport 4
In the interest of colo rectal beauty and cleanliness maybe ????
chosha_fml 27
Apparently you're full of shit.
2StepMyyo 5
he wants anal
MyS3lf 24
Yeah, sounds like he's thinking about talking you into anal, if you haven't already done that. If you have I think it's a hint. Sorry OP, FYL.
Epikouros 32
What a cheapskate. Only the best is good enough for my girlfriend, so I'm going to give her a professional enema kit.