Today, my mother once again brought up how I would have done so much better in my Track season if I just smiled while I ran. Apparently, if you just smile, your brain won't know you're in pain. I don't think it works like that, but thanks for the advice mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML
Today, I was told how cruel and selfish I am for rubbing my weight loss in my mom’s face. I’ve literally begged my mom to walk, jog, workout with me for months. She went exactly once. She complained the whole time, then called me a bitch for finishing my run while she sat in the car. FML
Today, I told my mom that I'm bulimic and have been for a few years, and that I needed help. She responded by saying, "Well that's clearly not working for you. Why don't you try anorexia?" She then patted me on the head, smiled, and walked away. FML
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML
Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered and said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, and that's why she has such bad balance. FML
Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML
Today, I overheard my mother saying that it is “physically painful” for her not to be mean to me. FML
Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML
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Top comments
mylonius 19
I feel that strategy only works when you're on ecstasy.
Steephx0 23
Oh, I've actually heard this. One of those stupid myths. Tell her that the most successful running advice is to listen to your body and to stop when you're in pain.
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Comments (54)
Rodgerdodger17 15
Don't worry man. My coach says if you smile on your runs, you will do better and such because it's easy.
PhoenixChick 26
And if you'd just put on some makeup and do something with your hair, maybe get a manicure and a cute dress, you'll feel more confident and then you'll run faster!- 1950's mom advice
graydawn 4
smiling actually has been proven to trick your body into thinking that you're happy. this causes an endorphin release that actually does numb pain.
kozuu 7
Next race just stand at the starting line smiling like an idiot and shouting her name while waving.
HippoSpinner 3
Yes. Because Olympic runners totally grin their asses off, as opposed to making crazy, feral and distorted faces that equally match how much stress their body is in.
CookiMnster916 8
You should tell her to smile and then punch her in the face.