Embarrassing, Awkward Work Suspicious

Suspicious

StevieMe - - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Deez nuts

needtoscratch - - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

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Bad hair day

Tony -

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

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Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

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Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

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Why did you tell me that?

mymomplucksbutthair - - United States

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

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Paranoid

MaddyN - - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

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Broke boy

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

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Say it, don't spray it

... - - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

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Smoking is so cool

Burnt - - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

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Rash decision

FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

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TeenTiger 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:03

Could you tell us the location of your work place so we can all avoid it. Thanks.

VerticalOrbit 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:10

Ok, so, you put your hand IN YOUR PANTS? I'm not a guy, but most guys I've seen that get an itch, usually don't put their hand in their pants. You're doing it wrong.

route95 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 5:01

Ew that's disgusting. I hope the poor lady notices and gets it redone for free!

fcuk_fml 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 4:58

oh my god, i'd love to see that.. ridiculous. hahah

Oriina 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 5:31

I'm hoping you were the only one behind the counter at the time? Seeing as the only way that would happen is if you put your hand down your pants ... Well, now I know I'm getting all of my things laminated either at home or by a woman .

Lovebug_Campbell 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 5:38

What the heck?? You can't scratch yourself THROUGH your pants instead of shoving your hands DOWN yours pants? Way to go, loser. Getting your jollies at work.

yeahreally 6

Thursday 9 April 2009 6:04

lol oh wow

carmel 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 6:09

How did your pubic hair make its way out of your panst if you didn't put your hand down your pants?

Chris968 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 6:11

A. You need to trim those suckers B. You don't stick your hand all the way in to scratch. Don't you have any etiquette? C. I REALLY hope you washed your hands after.