Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML
Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here." He saw her. She's his daughter. She's a new-hire… running HR. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
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Top comments
Tobunshi 0
Dear women, Men aren't as complicated as you think. Just say hi. Love, men.
kizz_fml 0
Why would you need salt on your cheescake?
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Comments (140)
drinkupgorgeous 0
So this is an FML because...? Ah, I've seen soo many FMLs in moderation that are 100 times better than this and they never get passed through and then some stupid one does. Ugh. :(
morgan_5230 0
I'm a waitress myself and I'm ALWAYS having people ask me "Do you have any mustard or ketchup?" when it's sitting RIGHT there in front of them, staring them in the face. It gets kind of annoying when people don't look around. You really should have just said hi, dear! Asking for salt isn't going to make him think you're flirting, anyway. It'll just make him think that you want salt.
BaldOuting 0
salt? that was your best move?
sydney9_fml 0
one time at the CC, i was at a birthday party and there was a really cute waiter there. everyone was flirting with him. and then we found out he was gay. we should have been tipped off by the chanel sunglasses...
zombieman000 0
As others have said, next time you're in this situation, just say "hi." You've got nothing to lose.
brittlicious 0
why salt? that's just stupid
Some___Guy 0
www.mylifeisaverage.com
JonReb 0
Totally your own fault. And who cares.
FmlFtwAndISFU 0
fail XD
Shadaez 0
Wtf is this? Seriously? This type of stuff happens at least once a week. OMG a little emberassment, gtfo and stfu.