Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some Cheez-Its I had in my room. After I'd enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML
Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML
Today, I tried to sound like I had my life together by bragging to a friend about how I meal prep every week. In reality, I’m sitting here eating a cold slice of pizza for lunch that I found in the back of my fridge. FML
Today, while tidying up my grandmother's fridge, I got to play expiration-date-bingo. The winner was some type of concentrated apple sauce supposed to be used for salad dressings. It expired in 1986. FML
Today, I ordered a food delivery and tracked it obsessively because I was starving. When it 'arrived', I realized I’d sent it to my old address from two years ago. Support said it was “successfully delivered.” Somewhere, a stranger is enjoying my dinner while I eat crackers. FML
Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML
Today, thanks to my wife’s obsession with expensive foods like chutney, relishes, exotic spices, and preserved foreign vegetables and herbs, I'm literally staring into a fridge full of glass jars, with a door that barely stays closed, and yet has nothing inside suitable to eat for my dinner. FML
Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML
Today, I decided to have some bagels. It was only after I ate them that I looked at the cream cheese and discovered that it expired 3 years ago. FML
Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must've been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Whoa now, take it easy. At this rate, you'll end up killing someone.
Recon13x 9
Stale crackers? Ughhh I'd rather play with bullets.
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Comments (32)
alyssalol 2
I don't really get this but ok
creditless 14
stale crackers? like Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?? I'm sorry, it was tasteless but I had to go for it :))
shitstorm28 11
if I wasn't so sick of them, I would've laughed.
wreckdit 29
So you could say that your life is pretty stale?
anonymouskatliz 7
lol, I actually think this sounds fun.
SillyGiraffe 17
Is it weird I have an insane urge to play this game now?
YFOS_fml 17
that's bloody hilarious!
mrswombat 16
Simply a hello from a fellow Arkansan :)
amandanoelle 10
And a hello to you as well!
Kerensky 17
And this ladies and gentlemen, is my girlfriend. Congrats hon
amandanoelle 10
Hey everyone! I'm the OP! I appreciate all of you and love reading your comments!
amandanoelle 10
Also, #23 Kerensky, thanks babe!