Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML
Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple Smirnoff, I puked up the chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
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Top comments
Kcired 0
YDI and its stupid, if you have feelings for him, dont you think making out with someone else would completely blow him off??? why dont you.. oh i dont know.. TALK to him?
Ughsucks 0
Yes because the best solution to an ex being around is to make out with someone you've never seen before. Clearly your deduction is faultless.
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Comments (174)
volleyballchicka_fml 0
YDI, ooh that's what you get for trying to make him jealous!
zeroprojekt 0
Aw, I think your ex may have been turned on by your public reenactment of a baby bird with someone you just met. How are those regurgitated meals anyhow? Mmm, mmm good? :]
fylbiath 0
i hate people that try to impress other people. he's clearly not into you anymore. get over it, you're just making yourself look like a total *****.
drinkupgorgeous 0
YDI for being a nasty *****. I bet your ex was like "HA! I'M GLAD I BROKE UP WITH THAT ****!"
droppinloads 0
Way to pick em! Did you sleep with the guy with the herpe lips too?
spillproof 0
More people need to believe in Karma. OP sorry that happened but hahaha
BaldOuting 0
were you wasted too?
paperfox_fml 0
You like someone, so you try to upset them? That's not the sort of thing a nice person should do. =/
crazieeli 0
absolutely disgusting.
Shmoopie4 0
As well they should!