Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he got a call from his best friend, whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzipped his pants and mouthed, "She won't know." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML
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Top comments
Nexxion 0
Today, I called up my best friend because my grandfather had just died. I suddenly hear the sound of a zipper, some moaning, and a dialtone as he hangs up while I'm still bawling. FML
MtVernonVA 0
Then what happened?
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Comments (228)
ThePositronicMan 1
Also, I would suggest that, if one is to make an incredibly sexist comment, while accusing someone else of stupidity, they should proofread their comments to ensure that they haven't done things like replace "your" with "you're", lest they look like an even greater unsophisticate.
ThePositronicMan 1
@77: Way to be sexist and insensitive.
silly_kate 0
great taste in guys!
looking_glass 0
Bahhahaahhaha!
johnnevins 0
I can do what he failed at and I am just 15, give him some helpful hints
MissTtylerMaria 0
Actually i think her life is more ****** then yours on that one
riababyy 0
omggg you better not have said yes. f his friend's life. that bf is a jerk.
KiwiGrimm 0
i don't think this is an fml at all X] YAY for discreet sex!!
trizzieb 0
so what's the problem? you on the rag?
catiap 0
look on the good side he can't resist her nomater wat so either she is realy sexy or he loves her :]