Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he got a call from his best friend, whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzipped his pants and mouthed, "She won't know." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nexxion 0
Today, I called up my best friend because my grandfather had just died. I suddenly hear the sound of a zipper, some moaning, and a dialtone as he hangs up while I'm still bawling. FML
MtVernonVA 0
Then what happened?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (228)
AmarilloFML 0
Sounds like your boyfriend is inconsiderate. How many times do you think he's cheated on you while you talked on the phone with him... because you won't know.
megann345 0
LMFAO! thats hilarious.
AB_fml 0
LMAO! If I were you I wouldn't do him while he's on the phone. Just saying.
ilufyoo 0
idk.... what do you mean "she wont know" maybe hes cheating? thats what i think
fcked 0
what do you mean by "she wont know"? did you guys have sex or did you give him a *******?
orca99 0
To the people saying there's no way the best friend wouldn't know: It's obvious you're not male. Seriously. If you think your guy really needs to make any sound while your doing anything... that's your silliness. And if you think a guy can't hold a phone conversation while having things done to him, that's your silliness, too. What he was suggesting was totally uncool. In a lot of ways. Sorry to the girlfriend and the best friend :
fml_fml_fml9 0
so.....DID you do it?!
pegasis 0
he would be more of an ass hole to leave his girlfriend who is about to have sex with him, then to go see his friend....who is a girl. not to sound incensitive...but she she calls him first she probably likes him.
almostright 0
hahahaha!! my ex used to do that all the time... whenever his friend calls or his mom is talking to him through the door... hahahah guys...
xxbrtnibbyxx 0
wait... y'all hooked up while he was talking to his grieving friend? that's messed up...