Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML
Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML
Today, I found myself sitting in the bathroom at work searching the internet for the alcohol and caloric content of cool mint Listerine. I now believe that I may have a problem. FML
Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML
Today, I tried using hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML
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Top comments
I_Deserved_It 10
... how could you not have known that? Oh, and YDI for drunk driving.
kscott88 0
You're an idiot for multiple reasons. A) Driving drunk B) Not knowing that most mouthwashes have a high alcohol content C) Keeping mouthwash for emergency reasons
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Comments (250)
ombrelle 0
Good! I hope they revoke your license... you're an idiot for drinking and driving... since you have listerine for "emergency situations" I'm glad they caught you... If I knew where you lived I'd copy and paste this to send to a police station to make sure something was done with you! People like you need to grow up and not be such idiots!
Tsukasa_fml 0
First sentence says it all. You were DUI, so YDI, idiot.
IshitCAKES 0
Well YDI for the whole drinkning and driving thing.. but if u ever want to get the alcohol off your breath swallow toothpaste or use peanut butter.. the peanut butter thing always works
ryersonnmitchell 0
you're so stupid. drinking and driving keeping mouthwash for "emergency reasons"? you think its normal for people to drive drunk?! i hope they take your license away. people like you shouldn't be allowed to drive, EVER. oh, and 2.37? yeah right. it doesn't make you sound any more manly or whatever you were going for, you would be dead.
emorockerownage 9
intense fail
sophreshhh 0
only tools drink and drive.
nacremer 0
I really hope you got thrown in jail and lost your license. I can't believe anyone can be so stupid that they not only drink and drive, but don't know that you can't fool a breathalyzer, especially with mouthwash. Hopefully if you ever drink and drive again you kill yourself and not some family driving home with their kids or something.
koneko12984 0
to get a 2.37 you had to have been drinking a LOT more than listerine before you got in the car. shouldn't have been driving.
letsgocrazy 0
I have no sympathy for you. That's your own fault for driving drunk.
xoxosarah 0
wow. you fail.