Today, I've recently been promoted to a VP at a bank. Despite this, in my parents' eyes, I will always be that idiot two year-old who refused to put his pants on at the cinema. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally got a promotion at work. Today I also found out that no matter how long I work, no matter how much effort and unpaid overtime I put in for 6 years, my coworkers will be convinced I only got promoted because I'm the CFO's son. FML
Today, I was promoted to vice president of my company. I gave a speech explaining how I intended to run things more transparently. When I bent down to pick up my folder, my pants split. Somebody said, "Powerpuff girls panties. Transparent indeed." FML
Today, thanks to downsizing and corporate restructuring, I was "promoted" to the entry level position I had 10 years ago. FML
Today, I was once again passed over for a promotion. I'm now the assistant to a kid who has failed to meet almost every single responsibility he's been given before. It's my job to make sure he's successful, and if he isn't, I'll lose my job. FML
Today, my mother, who insists on sticking her nose into every aspect of my life, found out I'm only "middle management" and called my boss to criticize her for undervaluing me, demanding I be promoted immediately. I'm now the laughing stock of my office. FML
Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML
Today, in a misguided attempt to earn my asshole dad's approval I went to university to get my business degree and took over the family restaurant. Now I have all the stress of managing the restaurant, he has retired and is moving abroad. Oh, and he still isn’t proud of me. FML
Today, my parents insisted that despite the fact I've just turned sixteen, I have to save them money by ordering from the children's menu, because I "still look like a twelve year-old." FML
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Top comments
Crowned Sataness 12
live your life for you. you do NOT need their approval or validation. if they can't give you the respect you deserve, distance yourself
FluffythePink 23
😂😂😂😂 Sweetie, you could be President of the entire universe and you'd *still* be the 2yo who refused to put his pants on at the cinema to your parents.
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Comments (5)
Crowned Sataness 12
live your life for you. you do NOT need their approval or validation. if they can't give you the respect you deserve, distance yourself
Gubbon 17
Today, I've recently...
FluffythePink 23
😂😂😂😂 Sweetie, you could be President of the entire universe and you'd *still* be the 2yo who refused to put his pants on at the cinema to your parents.
wrecklesswfire 3
if I were you, I’d just enjoy the paycheck and the status while you have it. it’s not important how others see you
L0life29 6
I served 16 years with 4 tours in the navy and I’m still the kid who peed in a plant when I was four