Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML
Today, I went for a quick piss at a restaurant. As I walked out the door, a little kid in the bathroom yelled, "HEY MISTER, YOU FORGOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS!" Everyone in the dining room stared, including my date. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
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Top comments
Hoofin 0
And this is why little kids should not be allowed in public
vendris 5
Oh no, you did something completely natural, **** your life indeed.
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Comments (91)
movies12 0
That is EXACTLY the reason why I don't take ***** in public washrooms. Also did ur date leave? cause if she didn't than there is nuthin to worry about. It's completely normal to take craps.
miharu365 0
At least he's not like the guy in JtHM. :D
SmokinGuns 13
Love that series
carolinasteve 0
slap the lil bastard
iplayrugby18 11
I guess his parents didn't teach him manners. Thats when you say, "what did the five fingers say to the face?"
SabrinaLeewizzle 0
Oh My gosh I'm sooo sorry for you! haha Well If shes a nice Girl maybe she will overlook That and You guys can Laugh about it later on!
WTFpancakes 0
wait....did that kid like look over the wall or something? how did he know it was you exactly? did he stand there like an idiot like "omg i want to know who this is so i can embarass him" er something? anybody have a idea how this litlle brat knew it was exactly that one guy? geez
RVP23 0
There should be "Children" and "No Children" sections in restaurants.
dackattac 0
What did you DO in there, man?!
element01 0
classic!
TheChanel 0
ugh! don't you just hate kids lol