Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML
Today, I went for a quick piss at a restaurant. As I walked out the door, a little kid in the bathroom yelled, "HEY MISTER, YOU FORGOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS!" Everyone in the dining room stared, including my date. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
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Top comments
Hoofin 0
And this is why little kids should not be allowed in public
vendris 5
Oh no, you did something completely natural, **** your life indeed.
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Comments (91)
xSceneSceneBabyx 0
l
mercedeslove 0
Man I would have drop kicked the worth less shit clear into next month. He'd be the vegetable boy, as in he'd be in a coma the rest of his shitty life.
jonny2x4 0
Two things you need to do before a hot date: 1) take a dump 2) clean the pipes, if you know what I mean. BTW, was she hot? Maybe next time you can talk her into a Cleveland Steamer. Just a thought.
dirtbikeguy 14
he may want to consider the boston pancake to kill two birds with one stone
MysticCeltic 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=322
Ohnothingreally 0
LOLOLOL.
cheetahboo2010 5
Why would the kid know if you was taking a shit? Was he following you to the bathroom? If so, FYL.
bobby9101 0
Dude, take your dump BEFORE going on a date. #2, bid deal, it's not like she doesn't have to take a shit every now and then. She doesn't care
xYunqDrex 0
Lmfao shittyman . Smh the little kid must have been waiting for you to come out the stall to see who you were. Either way it goes your date has been ruin and you can thank a little kid for that. But that was your fault for not taking a shit before a date especially because its with a hot girl. i mean come on dude. You should have already learned as a little kid to use the facilities prior to leaving the house. Just because of that you are probably embarrassed, shitty, and single. FYL but YDI
ohreally123 0
why wouldn't you just hold it or go before? Honestly, that's disgusting. Go in your own home.
ryansims 0
little ***** **** everything up
dackattac 0
I feel sorry for anyone who has ever had to date you. Seriously, shit happens sometimes. Literally.