Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML
Today, I was upset with my girlfriend, but I didn't want to start an argument with her, so I didn't reply to her message immediately. She asked me what happened. I hesitated but explained nonetheless. She remained silent for almost an hour before replying she's busy at work, so she can't reply. Then why did she even bother to ask? FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML
Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML
Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML
Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friend's house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said, "Who is this? Stop texting me." FML
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
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Top comments
KickItHigh 32
At least your best friend is being honest and not going behind your back.
Dixbfloppin 11
Dump that botch.
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Comments (137)
spikekutter 9
make sure she doesnt touch your sugary balls ever again..
twye 22
At least your best friend told you instead of dating her behind your back. Edit: sorry. Didn't see it was mentioned before.
kamareaux 24
Out of the two, sounds like the friend is the keeper.
Tidus0 17
Yup go out with your best friend xD. They won't cheat by the sounds of it :D
onorexveritas 24
well what's that say about her? yes! she's a bitch.
annie_nk 23
She is unworthy of your sugary pie balls.
Sinkhole 26
Yeah, his sugarlumps are two of a kind - sweet and white and highly refined.
thatonename 7
17) do you know where your profile pic is from? It's looks insane and I wanted to try looking it up.
SanpakuEyes 18
#27 Flight Of The Conchords! :D
Sinkhole 26
53 - I assume you meant 27? It's in Guatemala.
jelly713 19
Hate to break to you but being a girl myself, if a girl does that, it means she's not very interested in you, losing interest in you or lost interest a long time ago. She's looking at other guys, checking out her "options". You gotta let her go & find someone who actually appreciates you, no one deserves that.
cass85 8
No shit sherlock.
Mynameislinh 24
Well, your friend is a keeper!
HortonThelephant 15
A faithful lion would never cheat on his girlfriend!! But a Tiger Wood..
nothing92x 13
19, is that some sort of ancient Chinese proverb?
OhDearBetrayal 25
35- Unless there was a man named Tiger Woods who was a cheating golf player in Ancient China, I highly doubt it.
nothing92x 13
I didn't think my joke would fly over people's heads like that.
MrPlopper 9
It wasn't even a joke, it was just a bunch of stupid
oliviaorourke 8
Crappy girlfriend...
Obey_StudBoii 23
Your eyes are beautiful.
HughHolmes 10
dude, she is ho, leave her. and give you friend a lunch treat, you owe him big time.