Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML
Today, I spilled coffee on my shirt and had to change before a big meeting. The only clean shirt I had was a gift from my brother. I didn’t notice it said "World’s Okayest Employee" on it until I was sat in the meeting. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML
Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
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Top comments
cockymofo 10
lol. he said "jacked off"
Fortuitous 0
You didn't see that one coming.
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Comments (75)
KasCiaYr 0
He cleaned it with your shirt... I've nothing to say here Op, have a good life with him, maybe ypu deserve it.
EpicPear 0
Because you just ate cum cum cum!
InDenial 6
C-c-combo breaker!
imright24 0
You don't look at your shirt just before or after putting it on? YDI.
Judus_beej 0
ydi for not buying your wife a shamwow!
blankaex 0
You can't break thecombo if there are < 5 parts of the combo. And you missed out on a hell of a lot of C's.
muhaidib 2
that's dirty, don't you check your cloths if they are clean before you wear them?
yourlifesfucked 0
Sunny D and Rum!
boatkicker 5
Do all of you saying "YDI for not checking" Do you really do that every morning? I know that I don't. I assume that, since my clothes were clean when I folded and put them away, that they will still be clean when I take them out and put them on.
uroborous 0
you are the manager? ok, put jacket back on go back home and change yer damn shirt