Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML
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Top comments
Krirn 21
That's just that deep clean feature, it really gets in your skin.
DontForgetMe4 0
Well, if it makes you feel better, thank you for actually washing your hands in the bathroom!
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Comments (90)
flashback.miss 28
Geez... can't get soap without hurting yourself...
KiddNYC1O 22
Been in jail lately?
muFilter 19
OP, what you've described is the perfect case for a rare but uniquely effective therapeutic protocol known as "Nail Gun vs Soap Dispenser". Happy healing!
muFilter 19
What the hell? Do none of you people believe in gratuitous violence and unnecessary destruction of inanimate objects? I'm so disappointed in you, FML community! So disappointed...
katcot99 11
How do you hurt yourself with that?
theBIGmack92 6
Why is she getting thumbed down? It seems like a valid question to me.
Michael_92 20
See once you piss off the FML people they thumb comments down just cause there cool like that.
ClosetTroll 10
Did you really give yourself a bad cut, one that would need immediate medical attention? Or are you one of those people who creates a scene on getting a paper cut? The only way I can see this happening is if you slipped on water on the floor, tried grabbing on to the wall, failed and hit your head on the edge of the dispenser giving yourself a bad cut on the forehead.
Ugi 27
I would bet that a guy who works in a machine shop knows a cut when he sees it.
babiigirl1993 6
damn that sucks. sorry about your luck.
SexyHindu 2
Lawsuit time.
The_Hitdude 12
What's he going to sue? The soap dispenser for being too sharp? If you don't have anything good to say, keep it to yourself.
The_Hitdude 12
^^ It could be, but it could also be because OP hit the dispenser on a corner and it cut them. Many a time I have cut myself on things that were otherwise safe to use, like doors, cabinets, etc. and I'm sure those weren't in violation of any safety laws in place. I've even cut myself while using a sink. I guess I'm just skilled like that. :)
Krirn 21
Maybe it's time for you to divert those skills onto other people, not that I support injuring or killing people, but if they deserve it, why not, right? Hell, if you get enough coverage I'm sure Marvel will approach you for the next Punisher movie, or even DareDevil.
lonkite101 14
You're stupid ^^^^
Krirn 21
And I congratulate you on using the correct form of "you're".
Michael_92 20
Calm down people it was a joke. I laughed at it, actually I was going to comment the same thing.
KatieKupcake4195 9
A soap dispenser? How, oh how, did you do that, OP? Is your skin made of paper?
rooney0710 5
If you ever get in a fight whip out you soap dispenser.
XHerobrineX 4
Your* =]
rooney0710 5
Merci.
iceman420son 7
You're stupid
BBoureaux 8
At least he used the right "you're"?
johngaltmovement 8
How are you going to explain that to your doctor?