Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML
Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML
Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML
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Top comments
Xathanos 16
Where's Samuel L. Jackson when you need him?
duhhspammerx3 16
Mom of the year.
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Comments (73)
nikojhavlin 12
Run like ****
Classy_Sassy_15 15
Maybe your mom was shocked when seeing the boa and reacted on impulse
ldkindasucks 6
Women and children first! Unless there's spiders and snakes or something, then it's a save yourself type of situation
lulinator 40
And badgers. My dad shut me in a shed with a badger.
blondeamazonian 18
Oh it's just a boa... Nah, it's just nightmares for the next month. Eek.
mkayden 23
Well, at least you're still alive. Yaay!
PenguinBitch 44
Voldemort shouldn't let Nagini slither around like that. Just because he's the "dark lord" doesn't give him rig
Parvati48 15
Lol! XD I know, for shame on Voldy Poo.
topher5110 7
Why did she have to lock the door to keep the snake out?
flee2321 10
Nope nope nope.
Joshery 14
That must have been painful
OhLookItsTonia 3
There can only be one.