Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML
Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML
Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML
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Top comments
Xathanos 16
Where's Samuel L. Jackson when you need him?
duhhspammerx3 16
Mom of the year.
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Comments (73)
Foxrabbit 9
Well, I guess she wanted to save herself instead of you.
repKyle95 24
God damn, seeing all these comments about suggesting you murder the animal makes me ******* sick. Yes the neighbor was a dick for letting his snake escape, but how is that the snake's fault. Also, boa constrictors do NOT reach dangerous size, and the reason snakes have been getting loose in the everglade isn't due to released pets it's mostly due to the destruction of a python breeding facility back in 1992 when Hurricane Andrew struck. Get your facts straight and educate yourselves before spewing ignorant shit that makes you look even more stupid.
DarkCvengence 15
Boas crush you to death easily dealt with sooo
Ric Gray 10
some day your mom will be elderly and will depend on you for some basic needs, when this day comes it is absolutely critical that you remember how she literally threw you to the snake to save herself.