Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I'm a 230-pound former soldier. He's a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, some muscle-head showed up at my house and started beating on me. Turned out my son had been posing online as a Navy SEAL, using a picture of me, and had dared this guy to come over and fight him. FML
Today, I was meeting my daughter's boyfriend and I joked I’d have to show him who was boss around here (my wife, without a doubt) but as a 5”8 man I have no idea how to intimidate a 6”11, 20 year-old who looks like he was born in a gym. My wife won’t stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I tried to fight my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend because she told me he used to beat her. Turns out, she was lying to “impress” me, and her ex has a black belt in taekwondo. I’m in excruciating pain right now. FML
Today I gently tried to break the news to my now ex-fiance's daughter that her Daddy and I weren't going to get married after all (he cheated), but that I still loved her with all my heart. She responded by punching me in the face. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Wow so many lessons here! (1) Think very carefully before threatening anyone - What comes next? (2) People are not always what they look like. (3) Let your daughter work through her own relationships before you get involved.
TeachAllTheMath 19
What hurts more? Your body or your ego?
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Comments (27)
2blessed2bstressed 1
I feel sorry for her fiance.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Threatening him in that manner would only be justifiable if he were abusive towards her and manipulated her into staying with him. Otherwise, that was a stupid move on your part.
Wintermelons 19
Oooo you hella deserved it
Zach Wheeler 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
fake. 120 pounds isnt enough force to generate the strength needed unless he is pure bones and muscle, no fat, no blood, just bone and muscle
r1l37w 19
It pisses me off that people say don’t break her heart. There are only 2 outcomes of dating, you are together forever or you break up are you really gunna get pissy if the relationship doesn’t work out and she’s upset over it?
gnawd 6
The title is very misleading!
randybryant799 21
Why are you involving yourself in your daughter's love life? Stay out of it. Its not your business.