Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it wouldn't go down the pipes. After about ten panic-filled minutes, I noticed the cat litter box. I carefully scooped out my logs, and buried them in the cat litter. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML
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Top comments
Erzebet_fml 7
You didn't think to look around before resorting to sticking your hand into a toilet filled with your own fecal matter?
unidentifieduser 23
You need to eat more fiber.
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Comments (146)
pwilly 8
What in the f-in F?! Why were your hands even a option?
zandalee 20
F-in sheeeet
Carebeareatu 23
Why wouldn't you look for the plunger first, before sticking your hands in your own fecal matter? I say YDI, op.
pwnman 33
Was going to have dinner, and lost my appetite.
ZomBgal 12
I was afraid this was going to say that there was no soap to wash your hands with after playing with your poop-doh. If they didn't find out about it, then you should just pretend it NEVER happened...
iknowiwantyou 13
Your desperation must've been extreme.
buckeye_state 11
On an unrelated note, I cannot for the life of me remember the last time that I took a dump in some one else's house....cough cough.
Zach2014 11
I would never use my hand. I would have just left it!
WellThatSucked89 13
Who does that?! Anywhere I go, I scout the restroom for the nearest plunger. No plunger? Let the filthy animals who didn't buy one deal with it!
awkwardloveannie 28
your idea is to crap in someone's toilet , clog their toilet and leave it there for them to deal with? yeah they're the filthy animals.
WellThatSucked89 13
It was a half joke, sorry guys. Sometimes I fail at jokes. My husband tells me so a lot. I will most certainly rethink before I comment again... *white flag*
ItsATwinThing 9
I would not stick my hand down the toilet to break up my own crap just to save face...such is life.
KayZeep 3
Seriously understandable move. I would probably do the same. Too mortifying to leave that or ask for help when it's your new love interest and their parents involved. Seeing someone else's poo seriously kills the romance.....do whatever you can to avoid that.