Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
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Top comments
skull4k9 0
AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!!!!!
ysomad 0
it's okay to feel sad sometimes! (mr. Rogers)
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Comments (114)
lovestrong 0
Laugh it off, and say oooops/sorry. Find the humor; it's a great quality. Your crush might admire you for it. :)
yummycupcakegirl 0
Haha I would've ran.
Trencher21 0
hahaha
6sick6 4
Take your shirt off and everything will be back to normal.
nerdsgetmehot 23
I know how you feel, OP. I'm painfully shy.
iwuvmydime 2
me too!
nerdsgetmehot 23
#93 Have you ever been shy? I AM trying to deal with it. I've been going to therapy for years as well as purposefully getting jobs that make me interact with people. You don't know anything about what I've been doing to alleviate my shyness.
robc32ca 4
I'm confused... were you on drugs or was the food that good?
nerdsgetmehot 23
#38 I'm shy and often find myself spacing out when I get super nervous in social situations. It's kind of an unconscious defense mechanism so that I don't get too overwhelmed. Hopefully no one assumes that it's a by-product of being on drugs. :P
catatonicsleep 17
I'm really shy too, I space out when I'm in crowded paces and other uncomfortable situations. Must be a defence mechanism
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
YDI for taking that seat anyway!
Waplesmonster 0
ahaha fail !!!!
Judus_beej 0
you could have said. "actually I requested a seat in the corner. I'll wait." but your shy and a pushover apparently.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#42 You've obviously never been shy.
jakeisawake 3
*you're And I agree with #43. Being shy doesn't make you a pushover; you just try avoiding situations that can be overwhelming. And no, most "shy" people wouldn't speak up and reiterate their request to sit in a corner.
catatonicsleep 17
43 is right it's you've not you're you're writing "you have obviously never been shy"
jakeisawake 3
#48, who are you talking to? If it's me, then you should know I'm correcting #42 on '...but your shy and a pushover apparently.' Sorry, I should have made myself more clear.
Judus_beej 0
settle down kids. I had been shy before. thankfully I grew out of it. being shy and a pushover are two different things. she doesn't deserve it but she should really try and stand up for herself.
BMASE 4
He was talking to #42.
david172010 0
U tight lmaoo