Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
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Top comments
skull4k9 0
AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!!!!!
ysomad 0
it's okay to feel sad sometimes! (mr. Rogers)
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Comments (114)
lbeer 1
well bless you then
foreveryoung97_fml 2
what the **** is wrong with yuh y are yuh so shy bitch ?!!?????
ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0
before you worry about other people,you should clear YUH lisp.or you just are terrible with spelling.
perdix 31
C'mon, admit it. You really sn-sharted, didn't you? Or is that shnarted?
AnotherRandomFML 7
It's snarted dude.
bamagrl410 31
LMAO Perdix. I didn't even know there was a term for such a thing.
vashthestampede 0
Better check your pants after
jakeisawake 3
That had to be the loudest sneeze-fart if everyone around you turned to look at you. Most crowded restaurants are pretty damn loud, so in this case; I think you deserve the stares and embarrassment.
docscientist 10
Your conclusion does not follow your logic?
jakeisawake 3
If his sneeze and fart were louder than everyone in the restaurant, then I can see why he got stares. ...Which part is confusing?
stevenmx86 8
Ydi for being so pathetic..
Kaiden2554 3
FLATULENCE IS NATURAL!! *Stamped* "Grammar Nazi Proof."
iman1763 0
ydi for being shy
ALERI0N 0
lol the same thing happened to this girl in my gym class.
sourgirl101 29
Was it an Indian restaurant? Their spices will totally mess up your system!
hollee 0
and by "restaurant", do you mean "middle school cafeteria"?
hollee 0
and since when does spacing out cause sneeze-farts??
that1guyyy 12
stop talking to yourself