Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was alone at the office and having some fun spinning around in my chair. In my enthusiasm, I spun too fast, lost my balance, and crashed into the shelf behind me. The shelf didn't survive the impact, and I had 30 minutes to come up with a good excuse before everyone else came back from lunch. FML
Today, I was pulling in to my work parking lot gate, accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake pedal, ran through the gate arm. FML
Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML
Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML
Today, my boss called to check if I was available for a last-minute meeting. Trying to sound professional, I sat up straight in my chair, only to forget I was sitting on a rolling chair with no lock. The chair slid back, I slipped off, and a loud crash echoed through the office. My boss asked if I was okay, and I tried pretending nothing happened. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
LemonandLime 13
The force is strong with this one.
perdix 31
I guess you're not "ready to rummmmmmble!" No, wait, that's Michael Buffer . . .
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Comments (52)
kalbrek009 20
Are you one of those annoying "know-it-all" people who claim they can do anything, till you prove yourself wrong....I've met way too many of you in my life to keep count.
kwyk 23
What makes you think that?
jeragonm 15
Whiskey Throttle! Whooooo!
alicat72998 0
OP, I literally just did a slow clap for you.
jillocare 2
Whiskey throttle indoors? Awesome
m139307 0
well, we found the another reason why there are a lot of car accidents: idiots like this.
mike307 11
Don't say you can run equipment that you have no idea on running. That's how people get hurt.
jkovac 3
Been there bro... Hate those things