Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was alone at the office and having some fun spinning around in my chair. In my enthusiasm, I spun too fast, lost my balance, and crashed into the shelf behind me. The shelf didn't survive the impact, and I had 30 minutes to come up with a good excuse before everyone else came back from lunch. FML
Today, I was pulling in to my work parking lot gate, accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake pedal, ran through the gate arm. FML
Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML
Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML
Today, my boss called to check if I was available for a last-minute meeting. Trying to sound professional, I sat up straight in my chair, only to forget I was sitting on a rolling chair with no lock. The chair slid back, I slipped off, and a loud crash echoed through the office. My boss asked if I was okay, and I tried pretending nothing happened. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
LemonandLime 13
The force is strong with this one.
perdix 31
I guess you're not "ready to rummmmmmble!" No, wait, that's Michael Buffer . . .
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Comments (52)
accioshannon 17
On the bright side, the only thing hurt was your dignity!
perdix 31
Don't worry. Heavy equipment usually has a Dead Man's switch that shuts the machine down when you're . . . uh . . . . oh! Check that -- Worry!
Connect 10
As mentioned above. You should be happy OP. You could've had broken bones and missing teeth.
patrickalamo 48
There is a release which allows the scrubber to rest flat on the floor. Then it is a simple (slight) up and down tilt to the handle which causes it to go left or right. Next time google it.
Fierycorn 9
Should have just casually went " and that ladies and gentleman is how George Lucas got the concept for star wars "
9inchesSoft 11
Lmfao I definitely would have paid to see that happen.
olpally 33
Nice job, rubber duck... Quack!
joethebiden 8
It's horrible to realize that you even fail at minimum wage menial jobs, because the next step is usually holding a sign proclaiming that you will drop your pants for food.
gc327072 31
Well maybe you should give him more welfare, joethebiden.
darkhakai 18
I'm sorry, I didn't realize everyone was born with the inherent ability to run all machinery.
Pleonasm 36
I saw a video of that happen to a guy online, but the buffering was out of control. ^This, is shit, but I couldn't resist.
skyeyez9 25
You can sit on them and spin in really fast circles. Just be careful to hold the cord out of the way in one hand....don't knock it till you try it.