Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML
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Top comments
crispiestsquid 4
If you can't laugh during sex, you are having it with the wrong person
Shadowvoid 33
First of all, I think op's boyfriend knows how lactation works and when it happens. He was referring to the act of milking, not the actual production of milk. Secondly, why would this not kill the mood? I feel like there are very few women who are into being milked.
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Comments (35)
evergreengirl202 10
I think it's funny
SomeRandomUser 19
Eh. We all think that at some point.
Hugabutt 9
I think you should've laughed. I know I would have. ??
OhPuhleeze 23
I think the more important question is "Did it kill the mood?" or were you horny enough to carry on ;-) Oddly enough I did not see a lot of puns and wordplay on the statement. I honestly thought more people would try and milk the situation and squeeze last bit of fun out of the situation.
OhPuhleeze 23
Folks you have to look up a post under intimacy date 8/30/2009 almost six years to date.. The username is sigh...
KAngelsKarma 5
this would be something my husband would do no joke lol
MiFieren 4
Total moodkill...