Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML
Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
Today, I learned that my 29-year-old boyfriend won't stay the night at my house because he lives at home with his parents and doesn't want to have "the discussion" with his mom about me. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML
Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML
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Top comments
wilbur1979 0
what's there to talk about? you just get it out and whack it in
Bl4ck_1c3 2
I haven't got it yet... my parents must think I'm ugly...
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Comments (61)
v_garcia3 0
talk bout awkward...that woulda been a total mood kill for me!!! dump him honey
johnnydudeman 0
So she should dump him because his parents didn't tell him about sex?
rustic 0
wtf why dump him over something like this?
v_garcia3 0
I'm pretty sure at 23 u have had the "sex talk" with somebody!!! Unless ur a lonely loser with no sexually active friends!!! I mean most of us got our sex Ed from friends lol
perdix 31
Did anyone find it curious that we know the boyfriend's age, but not the OP's? If she is 13, this is an epic fail by the parents and a crime by the bf.
joeinthedark 18
Why would you assume something like that? i would think that OP's age is comparable to that of the BF and was left out as it wasn't particularly relevant to HIS lack of knowledge.
Person1233 13
Why would he assume something like that? Because he's perdix.
joeinthedark 18
Excellent point. I forgot who i was talking to!
sexy_babe_123 0
thts not a crime!. (is it?)
joeinthedark 18
crime for the gf to be 13 of the bf is 23? Ah ya, it would be a crime. If it were true. Nothing here indicates that the OP (girlfriend) is 13 or anywhere close to that.
perdix 31
That's the point! The OP's age is conspicuous by its absence. Mentioning only his age and not hers is a cause for alarm. My first guess is that she may be hiding the fact that she is much younger, but then I got a chuckle out of the idea that the OP is in her 40's and her elderly parents are giving her the "sex talk" in front of her boy toy.
joeinthedark 18
Absence is not always conspicuous. Irrelevant information is ofter left out of a story because it does not add to the end result. Perhaps she didn't mention her age because it didn't matter. This FML is about a 23 year old man who had not had 'the talk' yet, and was unaware of how things worked, or were supposed to work. The only thing conspicuous is your attempt to interject pedophilia into a story about the sexual ignorance of a 23 year old man. If we are to conjecture wildly, I would have to wonder if you have an interest in 13 year old girls, and therefore assume that everyone else is doing the same.
Cinn_fml 23
Skatterbug, it's Perdix, he rarely says anything with any intention of being serious. He is usually joking. I think that's like rule number five of FML. :P
joeinthedark 18
Oh, I know. I was just trying to get him going by taking him at face value and attacking his sexual interests. Probably won't work now.
perdix 31
Really, Cinn, all the way down at #5?!?! I thought it would be higher than that. skatterbug, you are barking up the wrong tree if you think I'm serious about these things. FML is like improv comedy for me.
sexy_babe_123 0
wut is a "normal" age
Cinn_fml 23
I dunno, I picked an arbitary number, if I were really bored I'd offer to write up all the unspoken rules of FML... Though the last person said #114, so look at it as a promotion of 109 places. :P
Spastastic 6
Cinn, I think you should. Next time you're bored, go for it.
Cinn_fml 23
I probably will, I'll just have to remember all the unspoken rules that I've learnt over my time here. :)
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Ooh Cinn, if you do so, PM me a copy please. :]
joeinthedark 18
Perdix, I realize that. I think you need to re-read my last comment. I was playing along. You make comment, I respond, questioning your common sense and sexual interests, you respond back in kind, flame war follows, hilarity ensues. Try to keep up would ya?
brelinxboo 0
that's what I thought! if he doesn't know what it is, obviously OP decided it was time for sex. what? are they on a schedule?
rawrimaunicorn 0
didnt he ever have sexual education in school?
v_garcia3 0
36: "sexual education" lol haven't heard it called that in...actually never always been referred to Sex Ed
spartan_girl 0
maybe his parents didn't let him take it. my hubby never took sex ed, because his parents wouldn't let him, but now his youngest sister has to take it because either the school district or the state decided that it shouldn't be up to the parents anymore, and it was part of the education that students should receive or something.
joeinthedark 18
Perhaps it's poor wording of the part of OP, but it makes perfect sense to me! They had planned to have sex (even the most spontaneous of events end up having some sort of plan) but ended up have 'the talk', instead of what they were 'supposed' to be doing, which is what they had decided to do at that time. make sense?
rebbee 0
Oh well, at least he hasn't had a ton of poonani before you!
Gabaloka 0
well, i dont think its THAT bad.. meh.. wouldnt have killed the mood for me ;)
v_garcia3 0
I guess that's why ur LOKA!!! lol ^_^
Gabaloka 0
hahaha!! but really, i would explain everything and move on ;)
sallen0046 4
Most adults in real relationships have the sex talk before they actually have sex., experienced or not. It's your own fault for expecting every guy you date to be a man-*****.
r6_fml 4
by "sex talk" I believe she meant she had to explain the birds and the bees to him.
dydee 0
I agree with 40 I think it's very mature of him depending on what he actually may have said
OmgO_o 0
at least you know cares (;