Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss's incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML
Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML
Today, my boss complained about how his performance bonus is too small, as he expected it to be the total amount accrued rather than a percentage. He also made the decision to not give any of the employees profit sharing this year, because the company didn't beat the budgeted increase in profits. FML
Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML
Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML
Today, while making a grand show of his generosity, my boss gave me my own commissions as a wedding gift. FML
Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML
Today, our company hit our sales goals, an all-time high since before the pandemic. Our reward after working so hard all year long? A goodie bag with a keychain with the company logo on them. When I suggested a bonus, my boss said, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
Today, my co-worker received a $1,000 bonus for a project that I do all the work on. My direct supervisor thought that I was an assistant. I send him an e-mail copy of the project every week, and have done so for the past six months. I was later reprimanded for not congratulating my co-worker. FML
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Top comments
eddyg94 11
Pretend to be on his side, and advise him to get the girliest sports car you can find! Sit back and enjoy the result...
Angelrose2004 17
I love how bosses always get credit for an employee's hard work. But when it comes to bad work, it's the employees fault. Sorry, OP.
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Comments (72)
thatoneguy79 10
OP: I'm glad that you were able to stick it out in that mascot costume; I understand they are not for the weak of heart. And your dancing obviously paid off by increasing the store's revenue. Great work! What your boss did not tell you, because he wants it to be a surprise, is that he is actually buying a bus, so he can go around and give everyone rides to work. Company-provided transportation, at his expense. He's just trying to share the wealth.
unknown_user5566 27
This message is approved by the Original Angry Bird Foundation.
PYLrulz 17
Sounds like the premise of a Dilbert comic... Say hi to Wally for me, he's an inspiration to me.
unknown_user5566 27
Welcome to the reality of working. Somehow it seems that all the lazy people end up making bank, while those who do the "grunt" work get screwed.
bjf10 22
Welcome to the working world. Do good work and they'll shit on you, and expect you to eat it with a smile.
monagro 22
Making your boss look good is always a good thing. It makes him more likely to get promoted, and when he gets promoted, he'll try to move you up with him.
meggieeee51 9
Keep working hard for now even if other assholes get the glory and then when you work your way up you can be the new asshole and have a nice car.
SwtCherryPie 26
It really sucks that happened but you almost should have expected your boss to take the credit.
amwinn 2
I'm sure it all your doing that the company did so well.
Zachthejoker 10
Sounds like Office Space
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Your Boss is a Selfish Ass.