Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML
Today, I went to explore a beach that was rumoured to have big crabs on it instead of the usual small tide pool crabs. I found out that the rumours were true went I went to flip over a rock, which was in fact not a rock. I now have to explain to a doctor how I ended up needing stitches again. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML
Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the beach. We were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petals at my friends. Then I noticed that a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML
Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML
Today, I went to the beach with friends. While splashing around in the ocean and waving to my friends who were sitting on the sand, I got caught in a strong current and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. They gave me a wristband that said, "Needs Adult Supervision". FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
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Top comments
daarlingdamsel 0
If I were you I would keep that kind of stupidity to myself...just a thought.
DirtyParkBench 0
You act like you've never had crabs before.
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Comments (77)
Ligerie 0
I always think there is a spider on me and get freaked out before I realize its nothing, but she got hysterical. So she's a little weird I think.
Cupcake10 0
I would have put you in a psychiatric ward or something if I saw that
DrMorbid 0
You're a woman, so this must have been kinda cute. Not an FML.
ozymandias_fml 0
I don't get it. Knowing there were crabs around, you should have been *less* likely to get startled...
plexico 4
What is scary is that the really big crabs are in your pants!
lone_wanderer 0
i didn't find this funny at all and it's nowhere near an FML. FYL for posting this
daarlingdamsel 0
If I were you I would keep that kind of stupidity to myself...just a thought.
lolwatlol 0
You make it sound as if it was any better if it were a big crabs instead of your shadow =/
randomm 0
...what?
vooper 0
That's pretty br00tal, haha. Anyway, you sound like the worst type of attention seeker. Come on.
Rota 0
YDI for not being in the kitchen. Women can't handle the outside world.
Tunstall1 0
That is pretty damn sexist #22. This is really funny, it could happen to men. and Rota? Get a life, women can do SO MANY things men cant! Equality. Look it up.
alfonzo 0
Lmaooo. Serious bitches giving you negative votes. High five, bruddah.
portablecupid 3
Okay, I'm a woman, but I recognize a troll/joker when I see one, so I'm not offended by Rota. Tunstall on the other hand... "Get a life, women can do SO MANY things men cant! Equality. Look it up." You promote equality by saying women can do things men can't? I think YOU ought to look up equality, as in, in the dictionary. Unless maybe you're talking about bleeding out our vags and having kids? Whoop-ti-doo.
Ultraviolet_fml 0
offensive? yes. however, OBVIOUS TROLL IS OBVIOUS
jmn207 0
i love you #33