Zero_TAlent_ This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff Gettysburg, United States

Rock n roll circus

Today, the drummer from my band stole the $200 deposit for our rental practice space and used it for a trip down to Maryland with his girlfriend. A few hours ago, my brother and I found him passed out in his cousin's house, very hungover. His first words to us were, "Can I borrow 20 bucks?" FML

44 comments

Collection

Thanksgiving

Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.

Same thing different taste

Anonymous 23 November 2019, 01:00

The hustler

Today, my boyfriend of six months, who happened to be my first kiss, broke up with me after borrowing 120 dollars. Not twenty minutes later, he was at the bar drinking with my brothers and my dad. FML

6 comments

Anonymous 3 October 2013, 21:40 Markham, Canada

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

88 comments

yessssir 9 March 2010, 02:24 United States

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

72 comments

eric4 23 May 2013, 20:11 Cheltenham, United Kingdom

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

104 comments

noshow 11 December 2014, 05:44 Richardson, United States

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

90 comments

Already Broke Asf This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff Rock Hill, United States

Petty thief

Today, my 19-year-old brother broke into my dorm and robbed me. When I tried to file a report, my brother went to my parents and told them that he took it because I owed him money on a bet. Guess who lost $92.50. FML

62 comments

Anonymous 7 June 2013, 19:32 Montr?al, Canada

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

77 comments

Anonymous 27 September 2022, 10:30 United States

One man band

Today, my bandmates showed up to our gig drunk. Our drummer kept losing the rhythm and the lead guitarist was more concerned about staying drunk than playing the right notes. In the middle of a song, they both gave up, put down their instruments, and kept sipping a beer, while at least cheering me on while I finished it. FML

3 comments

Citivolus 11 May 2021, 11:00 United States

Druggies

Today, I found out my brother and his girlfriend stole my wedding ring, my checkbook and my disabled son's iPad to fuel their drug habit. I'm $600 overdrawn and have no food. FML

11 comments

bandfuckup This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Rock n roll star

Today, my band was playing its first serious gig. I was in the middle of a solo when a drunk guy tackled me, causing me to crash into the drums, breaking them and my guitar, hitting our drummer, knocking him out. FML