Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML
Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML
Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML
Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
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Top comments
BobbyBoss 10
Your wife is awesome.
me234 7
Wow she's an enthusiastic one.
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Comments (457)
ewall22 0
What if that guy turned out to be your boss or landlord someday
marmar68 4
The chances of that seem pretty slim...
RedmontFief 7
Whole 'nother FML ewall. ;)
wendee915 2
..or not.
endlessamusement 1
Not if he called him 'kid' the guy in the other car was probably younger for one thing
skitzofreniks 5
what does age have to do with being someones boss?
lovepandorasaver 11
If it was, after that experience I bet he would switch jobs so he didn't work for a young punk beeatch(the sitter)
delamer 8
I normally don't find tampons hilarious, but I thought this was! How crazy! LOL
two4cheez 4
Hahaha that's wierd.
Carkin 8
You don't say
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
*weird. Sorry. The urge overtook me.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
You know what else is weird? The way weird is spelled. It doesn't follow the "I" before "e" except after "c" rule. :O
bbbbbacon 0
But ancient follows the I before e rule
mishkaroni 15
#256 - no, no it doesn't. I before e except after c. In the case of ancient, the I is before the e still, while the rule states it should be flipped following the c.
LO388 7
256 - But it's after c, so it "should" be reversed.
DuckyMomo 2
what the hell is it with all these tampon stories lately
mhterp90 17
It must be "that time of the month".
xxdark 3
Oh, snap!
bennn89 5
Tampons are great.
ahhhhaleigh 1
That was great lol
artemisrox98 10
The female fml'ers have synchronized!
xPhoBiuHzZz 1
She's a keeper!
hotPinklipstick 24
Your picture is exactly what I thought of when I read this.
MrFuzzles 5
I thumbed you up cause your wife has bigger balls than you do, show those damn punks what's up... With a dirty tampon.
radioedit 7
Women will do crazy shit while on their rag. But wow
bettyloohoo 0
If you had raging pain in your stomach all the time for 5 days straight you would do crazy shit to ya bastard
KittyWantMilk 4
I now see why you married her :D
lenalee96 22
Epic. Win!!
eatmyshortssss1 8
RIGHT ON