Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife has implemented a point-based system for sex. The list she sent shows I can I earn, for example, 20 points for washing the dishes, 50 for vacuuming the house, but only 5 for walking the dog. I get some action for every 5,000 points I earn, which should take about 4 months if I really work at it. FML
Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, my wife's friend's husband broke the unwritten "man rule" of not being TOO good of a husband. He turned over a new leaf and started really busting his ass, so his wife bragged on him to my wife, and now she's sulking and refusing sex. FML
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Top comments
tanekdrachonae 19
Guess you should get to work then.
MelTheGreat 23
Sweep or weep.
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Comments (280)
fallen_dragonkin 12
if you were doing a fair share of the housework, your wife would not feel this frustrated about somehow getting you to help her. it looks to me like act of a desperate woman that exhausted all other possibilities of getting some support.
AngelLovesDerby 10
Wow ... How lame..
fwongraven 10
Sex should never be a bargaining tool. You should be doing your fair share of chores in the house without the need for an asinine "reward chart". Grow up and do the ******* housework.
Zach2014 11
Time to find a new wife!
stretchedthin 20
maybe you should've done more around the house then eh?
Sofffiia 11
Life's a bitch, I mean your wife's a bitch
Regta500 10
Time for an divorce, unless you are a lazy ass
Dman1217_fml 1
Lol your wife is a jerk if she wants to make a sex chart!
Dman1217_fml 1
Lol
I_am_stupid_also 6
My wife tried this on me, I just found other women.