Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML
Today, my husband got on a business call, but he was not using his usual booming, baritone voice. Instead, he was soft and sweet and began with, "Hey, how have you been?" and quickly went into his office. Curious, I listened outside his door. It was a female co-worker. The work talk was waaaay too fun and familiar. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
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Top comments
boatiebanter 0
...Why would he call you up 'just to chat' and put you on speakerphone? That's just rude.
MoonTiger 4
And that's why you don't talk about things like this on phone...
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Comments (104)
_cherry_blossom_ 0
lmao #22. thts so tru
diabetic_rage 0
You just made your husband the coolest guy ever! Your life isn't f***ed, IT'S AWESOME! He will repay you by giving you the best sex EVAR!!! and #22, you win, sir. You win.
smartornot 0
YDI For talking about that on the phone.
oogyboogy 6
Theyre married they can do whatever the hell kind of sexual things they want
Stephai 0
LMA OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
derriduh 0
Why would he put you on speakerphone without telling you? If he was just some dude you were dating then I would say YDI, but your HUSBAND?!? There's supposed to be some mutual trust there.
diabetic_rage 0
lol #52, you best be trollin'!
beautifulskies 0
Yeah, i can deffinetly tell when i'm on speaker phone, its so obvious, the person your talking to generally sounds like they're yelling, and i guess just the way it works, when your talking you can't hear anything going on on the other side..... so unless your just rambling on like a dumbass and didn't hear the snickers, or your husbands a complete dick and put you on speaker half way through. Either way FYL and YDI for picking a dick for a husband
Talia070 0
HAHA .
Hich17 0
I hope I never have a wife like you. That's just... gross.
TR_Wolf 0
This is similar to a joke in that Bridget Jones movie. Dunno if I belive it, I mean why would your husband call just to chat, but put you on speakerphone to do so?